Cricket, the draw and War

Have a look at Alex Massie here who has posted a wonderfully cerebral comparison between cricket and war.

"Clearly, cricket is not, even when contested between England and Australia (or Pakistan and India) quite a matter of life and death. But the point remains: an outsider looking at cricket for the first time might be advised to try and view an Ashes series as though it was something akin to the great campaigns of the Napoleonic wars."

The full piece makes for excellent reading, although if you're anything like me you may need to read it twice.

Ashes Highlights

Courtesy of Word Cricket Watch you can now watch highlights of every days play in this years Ashes here.

England Regain The Ashes!! Top 5 Moments...

23rd August 2009. The date probably won't remain etched into the minds of English cricket lovers in the same way as 12th September 2005 is. There won't be any open top bus tours and MBEs and trips to 10 Downing Street. But England's victory today was perhaps even more remarkable than that of four years ago. In 2005 England went into the final Test at the Oval 2-1 up in the series with an extra batsman in the side to replace Simon Jones and once the toss was won all they had to do was not lose 20 wickets and the Ashes were theirs. It wasn't quite as simple as that of course, these things never were when Shane Warne (12 wickets in the match) was around but the stage had been set up for victory in advance. Not so in 2009.

Outplayed at Cardiff, England held on somehow. At Lord's they finally shook off years of Ashes underachievement at the ground and stunned the Australians with Andrew Strauss's 161 and Jimmy Anderson's 4 wickets setting up a big first innings lead then Swann and Flintoff taking 9 wickets between then to finish things off. Rain and two evenly matched batting sides dictated that the 3rd Test finished a draw, and then England were driven into the ground so emphatically at Headingley as Australia won by an innings and 80 runs that despite the score only being 1-1 with one to play, England were written off. And after day one at the Oval when they lost 8 wickets having won the toss and chosen to bat, they were dead and buried. So how did they manage to win? Here are the five key moments which lead to England's reclaiming of the Ashes, starting with the spell that turned this 5th and final Test on it's head on day two.

1. Stuart Broad's spell after lunch on day two. England win the toss which was job one, then set about scoring the 450 or so they would have wanted which was job two. At the end of day one they had scored 307 runs, which would have been perfect had the wickets column not had an 8 in it. They finished on 332 and unless the bowlers could take ten wickets for under 250, Australia were clear favourites for the match. The Aussie reply stared well, Watson and Katich reaching 73 before Strauss tossed the ball to Stuart Broad. 21 deliveries later he had taken 4-8 including Ponting, Hussey and Clarke and the game was on it's head. Australia were shot out for 160 and England had somehow secured a sizeable first innings lead.

2. Two run outs on the fourth afternoon. Chasing 546 was nigh on impossible on a dusty turning wearing pitch, but with more than two full days to do it, it wasn't a completely impossible task. Less than an hour after lunch Ricky Ponting and Michael Hussey were both set, playing well and past 50. Australia were 217-2 and still had Clarke, North, Haddin and Johnson to come before the tail. Then, from nowhere, Michael Hussey decided to tip and run to wide mid on, Ponting ball watched for a fraction of a second too long and Freddie Flintoff, dodgy knee and all, swooped, scooped and unleashed a flat armed rocket at the stumps, knocked the off stump clean out of the ground and the Australian captain was inches short. Then, next man in, vice captain Michael Clarke advanced down the pitch to Swann and leg glanced his fourth ball into short leg's boot, it ricocheted to Strauss at leg slip who threw down the stumps with Clarke millimetres short. Captain and Vice captain, one of the World's greatest and man of the series, gone inside a crazy 10 minutes of cricket. Australia still had a slight chance with Hussey at the crease but these guys going in such quick succession to two brilliant pieces of fielding effectively ended the game as a contest.

3. James Anderson and Monty Panesar at Cardiff. James Anderson lasted 69 minutes and Monty Panesar 37 minutes to steal a draw from the jaws of defeat after being totally outplayed in the opening Test. England began their second innings 229 in arrears and slumped to 46-4 early on the final day having closed day four 20-2. This became 102-5 by lunch and the last rites were being read at tea with the score 169-7. As Paul Collingwood was busy compiling a 245 ball 74, he had company at the other end first from Graeme Swann and them from nightwatchman and blocker extraordinaire James Anderson, but when Collingwood fell with time still to play the game was surely over with only dear old Monty left. But the two of them played the innings of their lives to hang on and secure England the draw.

4. Andrew Strauss's hundred at Lord's. After the great escape at Cardiff England moved onto to Lord's where they traditionally lose heavily to Australia. In fact they hadn't won since 1934 so the odds were against them. Step forward captain Strauss and 161 runs which set up England's first inning's total of 425. Strauss was the only English batsman to score a century and finished with almost twice as many runs than anyone else in his team, and top of the overall run scorers list just ahead of Michael Clarke. Flintoff's 5 wickets on the final morning at Lord's grabbed the headlines but it was Strauss's big hundred followed up by four James Anderson wickets which gave England the platform for victory.

5. Flintoff's Five. Andrew Flintoff's spell on the final morning at Lord's was pure theatre. Forget who he got out, charging in from The Pavilion End all morning unchanged on only one leg he whipped the crowd into such a frenzy and lifted his team mates around him to such a degree that you could have been forgiven for thinking it was Edgbaston 2005. Graeme Swann took 4 wickets and left without the plaudits, Flintoff was awarded man of the match although Strauss and James Anderson would surely have been stronger candidates, but no-one would deny Freddie this moment. It was great to witness what turned out to be his last big Hurrah as although he featured in two of the remaining three matches his impact on the remainder of the series was minimal.

Well done England and well done too Australia. Either side could justifiably have won this series, Australia took more wickets and scored more runs but England won the key sessions and the crucial plays which was the difference between the two sides in the end. Roll on 2010/1011.

Good luck England, meanwhile...

There won't, as usual, be any blogging done over the weekend so to keep you going please have a look at Alex Massie's review of Christian Ryan's, "Golden Boy: Kim Hughes and the bad old days of Australian cricket."

Also please do check into World Cricket Watch for reviews, analysis and highlights of each day's play at the Test.

Also worth visiting is Simon Barnes in Times who has done a piece about Ian Bell which is enjoyable to read, even though he isn't actually saying anything we don't all already know.

On a more "something for the weekend sir?" note, here are a few tit bits to keep you going. Not safe for work though I'd suggest.

Bikini Cricket pretty much does what it says on the tin, as does Get Them Out, after approximately 25 seconds.

On a similar level, the Daily And Sunday Sport give us Topless Cricket Babes. Howzat indeed.

Have a good weekend all.

Final Test

After 4 Tests, 16 days play, 4542 runs and 116 wickets England and Australia arrived this morning at the Oval in south east London squared at one game all in the 2009 Ashes. Only a win would do for England in their quest to win back the Ashes, and while a draw would be enough for Ricky Ponting’s men there was no way that they would be playing for anything other than a victory.

Australia named an unchanged side meaning that they would have no frontline spinner, and for England Freddie Flintoff returned at the expense of Graeme Onions to make his 79th and final appearance in a test match, and Jonathan Trott makes his debut coming in for Ravi Bopara. Andrew Strauss won the toss and chose to bat.

England made it to lunch for the loss of just one wicket, Alastair Cook again chasing a wide ball outside of his off stump and edging to Ricky Ponting at second slip. It was 50/50 how the first wicket was going to go, Strauss was either going to be LBW to a Hilfenhaus inswinger or Cook was going to do that. Let’s hope with some prolonged net work after this series he can sort this issue out. Ian Bell came in back at number 3 with the score at 12-1, precisely the sort of situation England did not want him to be in. He made it through to drinks with his captain though pushing the score on to 56-1 at exactly four an over. The second hour of the morning created no real alarms for either batsman, Strauss reached his fifty ten minutes or so before the break and a four from Bell brought up the hundred in the very next over. Well played both of them and England would have been happy to have avoided losing anymore early wickets, while Australia will still have felt that 108-1 could easily become 150-5 with the batting England have to come.

This would have been especially so after Strauss, undoubtedly the key man in this England line up, was gone in the third over after lunch thin edging a low catch through to Haddin off the bowling of Hilfenhaus for 55. Later replays would show that Hilfenhaus has overstepped and that was a clear no ball, but it was too late by then. England 114-2 and the horribly out of form Collingwood MBE came in next batting one place higher than usual at number four. Shane Warne wrote this morning in his Times column that it was about time his old friend Collingwood stepped up to the mark and took on more responsibility in the batting line up so all eyes on him.

Meanwhile Ian Bell MBE was continuing nicely along on his merry way, reaching his fifty after just 73 balls. He wasn’t looking great but then to be fair neither was the bowling. It wasn’t bad, but there was very little in the way of threat for the batsmen, both wickets to fall so far went to bad shots at balls that could and should have been left alone.

Bell and Colly made it safely through to drinks with England 158-2 after 40 overs played. Collingwood fell 15 minutes before tea after nudging, nurdling shovelling and scooping his way to a typically ugly 24. There were some nice shots in there to be fair, but he’s just not nice to watch. He too was caught in the corden driving, this time a thick edge to Hussey at gully from the bowling of Siddle. 176-3 and debutant Trott in next. He faced 11 balls before getting off the mark with a clip through midwicket for two in the final over before tea and England finished the second session 180-3. Just 53 overs were bowled by the tea break so the final session would be slightly extended, weather permitting, to reach the full 90.

Ian Bell’s attractive knock came to an end before he reached three figures. How often has that been said? Played a Siddle delivery onto his stumps for 72 in the first over after tea and a sense of déjà vu and here we go again descended over the Brit Oval as long suffering England fans sensed that capitulation for less than 250 was on the cards. Matt Prior in at number six though so all was not lost yet and the 200 came up in the 60th over.

Unfortunately Prior couldn’t hang around too long. Thirty three balls for 18 runs before he spooned a Mitchell Johnson slower ball to point to have England 229-5. Johnson had struggled a little up until this point going at five an over although he was looking dangerous with the short ball. A wicket will have done his confidence wonders. Freddie Flintoff arrived at the crease to a standing ovation from the crowd with 25 overs left in the day.

The great triumphant hero, saviour of English cricket and talisman that England simply cannot cope without lasted nineteen balls and scored 7 before he flashed needlessly at a wide ball from Johnson and edged through to Haddin. Colossal stuff. Six down for less than 250 and Stuart Broad came in to bat at number 8 with twenty overs play remaining.

Jonathan Trott’s debut innings was ended in unfortunate but brilliant fashion by Katich. A maiden fifty looked a certainty until on 41 he clipped the ball off his legs, Katich made a sharp save and as Trott fell forward following through with the shot he threw down stumps with a direct hit and Trott was gone. Bad luck but brilliant stuff from the close fielder. A good start to Test match cricket for Trott through he looked composed and comfortable. England stumbled across the 300 run line with 5 minutes or so to go before stumps, but then lost their 8th wicket from the final ball of the day. The impressive Peter Siddle accounting for Swann as he pushed forward and edged through to Haddin.

At close then England 307-8 which having won the toss and batted represents a poor return for the day. 307 runs is perfectly acceptable and if they were 4 down they would be very happy, but at 8 down they will struggle to reach 350 when 450 would have been their minimum target. Too many lazy wafts outside off stump doing the damage. Of the 8 wickets to fall 3 were caught by the wicketkeeper, 1 in the slips, 1 at gully and 1 dragged onto the stumps reaching for a ball wide of off stump. If Australia had won the toss and batted 600 would have been their target so England should be disappointed and should not believe that 350 represents a decent score. Australia have taken charge of this game and it will take a fine bowling performance to pull England back. Thank goodness we have Freddie.

A Remarkable Series

Nine years ago today at Headingley, England completed a victory inside 2 days to take a 2-1 lead over the West Indies with one Test to play in a remarkable series.

England had been swept away by an innings and inside 3 days in the first Test at Edgbaston, chief destroyer Courtney Walsh who took 5 first innings wickets and 3 in the second including 3 of the top 4 in both innings. Fifties from Sherwin Campbell and Brian Lara and 98 from captain Jimmy Adams was enough to ensure that the tourists only needed to bat once.

Lord's hosted the second Test and this must surely rank as one of the most exciting Test matches ever played. The West Indians finished day one on 267-9 and they were all out on first ball of day two when Caddick trapped Walsh LBW. England were then reduced to 58-5 at lunch and 100-8 at tea eventually limping to just 134 with Ambrose and Walsh sharing 8 wickets. England were looking at yet another Lord's defeat but Gough and Caddick had other ideas and with help from Dominic Cork skittled the shell shocked tourists out for 54. Andy Caddick's figures were 13 overs 8 maidens 5 wickets for 16 runs and suddenly England had 3 days to score only 188 to win. This they did, but only just. Atherton and Vaughan both passed 40 and Cork added 33 runs to his 7 match wickets but Mr Walsh was rampant in taking six wickets and almost pulling off a unbelievable win. 10 in the match for him but England just snuck home to square the series.

The third match was number 100 for messers Atherton and Stewart and fierce royalist Stewart celebrated by scoring a hundred in his hundredth Test on the day of the Queen Mothers 100th birthday. What are the odds? 100-1 probably. This gave England a decent lead having dismissed the Windies for just 157, but a Brian Charles Lara century and some Manchester rain saw the match peter out into a draw.

So onto Headingley went the teams for the fourth Test with the series all square, 1 thumping win each and a drawn match which neither side dominated meaning that it was anyone's guess which way this series would swing next. It didn't take long for that question to be answered though as 3 wickets from Darren Gough and 5 for his Yorkshire colleague Craig White had the West Indians all out for 172 in less than 50 overs. England than batted for less than a full days worth of play in compiling 272, Michael Vaughan top scoring with 76 and another 8 wickets for Walsh and Ambrose. So midway through day two West Indies began their second innings 100 runs behind, and would realistically have been hoping to bat for at least a day and a half and have runs from Lara and Adams to get then up to maybe 300, 350+ ideally but that was unlikely, then let Walsh and Ambrose loose. They didn't reckon on Darren Gough though. Everybody will remember Caddick's 5 wickets, 4 of them in the same over and 4 of them clean bowled with late swing which made for brilliant viewing which was the icing, but may not remember that it was numbers 7-11 he removed when the Windies were already 52-5. Gough knocked over each of the top 4 and had them 21-4 after which the game was over. Michael Vaughan was inexplicably awarded the man of the match award for his 76 just proving that it is indeed a batsman's game. Gough got both openers in the first innings and all of the top four in the second innings and should have been a shoo in for the award. He was at least given man of the series later on.

The fifth and final Test, at the Oval, was won by England, again comfortably in the end, but this one did at least last the full 5 days. A 159 opening partnership between Athers and new boy Marcus Trescothick set England on their way to a decent total, but in typically English fashion this start only amounted to a total of 281. Craig White claimed his second 5 for in as many Tests as the West Indians capitulated again only just scraping past the 50 over mark in making 125. Atherton followed his 1st innings 83 with a 108 to secure man of the match status, then Caddick and Gough continued their form sharing 7 wickets and sending England to victory by 158 runs and with it the series 3-1 and the Wisden Trophy was theirs for the first time in 31 years.

The summer of 2000 saw English cricket on a high for the first time in almost a generation. With Hussain and Fletcher at the helm and central contracts in place, the blend of experience in the batting with Atherton, Stewart, Hussain and Thorpe complementing the youth of Trescothick and Vaughan (wouldn't we hear more about them in years to come) combined with the all round ability of Dominic Cork and Craig White and England's finest fast bowling pair in decades in Gough and Caddick England had a team to be reckoned with.

Nobody knew it at the time, but this series win was the first step on the road to eventual 2005 Ashes success, as England took on all comers home and away over the next 5 years pulling themselves out of the doldrums of the 1990's and rising to officially be recognised as the second best team in the World behind the mighty Australians. Vaughan and Fletcher rightly took much of the credit for that post Ashes, but the contribution of Nasser Hussain should not be understated, and likewise his predecessor Michael Atherton who firstly and most vehemently championed the case for central contracts which allowed this group of players to gel and feel unified under Team England. This summer was the summer that the feel good factor came back into English cricket. Lets hope that 9 years later, on 24th August back at the Oval as we say goodbye to this cricketing decade, that we don't see that bubble burst and a return to the dark old days of the nineties.

There's Something About Mitchell

Having broken Graeme Smith's hand at the SCG in January 2009, Mitchell Johnson then knocked the stuffing out of the South Africans in their own back yard during the return leg, in particular during his Durban Demolition where figures of 3-37 didn't tell the full story. He had taken 8 wickets in the first match and at Durban took two in his first over and then had Smith retired hurt with a broken hand again and split Jacques Kallis's chin before getting him out. He had announced himself as Australia's "enforcer" with 33 South African wickets over 6 Tests home and away.

Two Tests into the Ashes Series though and he was hopeless. Couldn't hit a barn door with a banjo. Geoffrey Boycott's moom could bowl better. He was lost and lonely, mind elsewhere because mummy wasn't talking to him and wasn't worth a pinch of all the pre series hype. That was the end of him, never mind what he had done against the second best team in the World in Australia and in South Africa, he hadn't bowled well in two Tests against England so get him out. Figures of 8-331 didn't help disprove that argument to be fair. Back home people were calling for his head. In March Peter Roebuck called him the best bowler in the game, in July Allan Border and many others wanted him out. But Ricky Ponting stuck with his young quick.

There were no arguments from the Australian camp that their main man was struggling, but those closest to him insisted it was confidence and nothing more serious that was causing his problems. Adjusting to the Dukes ball and English conditions was hard, it's been hard for others before and will be hard for others in years to come. But despite all the wayward stuff at Cardiff and at Lords, where many a first time visitor has come unstuck by the slope let's not forget, his figures aren't as bad as you might think. He took as many wickets in the opening Test as Hilfenhaus did, and he was being hailed as the great success story. And none of his wickets were "gimmes" only Stuart Broad counted as a non batsmen and he is far from a tail ender. His second innings figures were 2-44 from 22 overs. Not bad in anyone's book. He took 3 at Lords, expensively, granted, but Cook and Prior were amongst them. Two at Edgbaston where he reverted to bowling first change where all his success had come in Australia, and signs were clear to all that he was finding his feet again and the aggression so palpably absent early in the series had come back into his bowling. Stuart Broad chirped back at him as the pair had some fun late in England's innings, but I know who I'd back in that dogfight.

Sure enough come Headingley, again bowling first change, he took 5 in the second innings, including 3-1 in the last hour of the 2nd day to officially end the game as a contest. This was the display of a bowler who was clearly coming to terms with English conditions and regaining his confidence. He bowled short, nasty stuff that got England's "batsmen" - I use the term loosely - hopping about and on the back foot all ready to be undone by his late swing or fending off short balls to slip.

None other than Dennis Lillee described a 17 year old Johnson as a "once in a generation bowler" and fast tracked him into the Academy. That sort of praise doesn't fall from that high without merit. The last Australian cricketer to receive such public adulation so early was Ricky Ponting, and that story tells itself. Not that I am suggesting that Mitchell Johnson will be as good a bowler as Ricky Ponting is a batsman, but 110 wickets at under 30 from his first 25 Tests is a pretty decent return. Extrapolate that over a career, account for injury and loss of form along the way, add in a champagne season and another series or two like he has against the South Africans and you've got a guy with 300+ Test wickets.

Johnson now finds himself with one Test match to be played just 2 behind Hilfenhaus in the listings for the leading wicket takers of the series. Never mind the economy rates, a bowler like Johnson is in the side to take wickets and rattle the opposition batsmen so they relax and make mistakes when the guy at the other end comes. He's in it, and barring injury or a sustained period of poor form, not two bad matches, will be in for quite some time to come, because there is something about him. He has the much sought after "X-Factor" that captains will always go for ahead of a line and length banker. God only knows England persisted with, and have since recalled, Steve Harmison for that very reason.

Mitchell Johnson will arrive at The Oval for the 5th and final Test of the summer a man full of confidence, he may even claim the new ball back from Peter Siddle, and should pick up where he left off in Leeds and give England's top five or six, whoever they might be, a serious working over. This tour has become a journey of self discovery and self improvement for Mitchell Johnson. A loss of form is a rite of passage for any Test match cricketer, whether he be batsman or bowler, and it's the way that you deal with that first loss of form that separates those who play at the highest level for a year or two, from those who play for decade. Whether he overtakes Hilfenhaus as the top wicket taker in the series or not is largely irrelevant. If Mitchell Johnson ends the coming Test match having bowled as well as Dennis Lillee backed him to all those years ago, as well as Ricky Ponting, Tim Nielsen and all those around him know he can, as aggressively as Graeme Smith and Jacques Kallis will testify that he can, and in the process show himself and the baying English public that he was not a one year wonder but a genuine Test class fast bowler, then only lifting that little urn will give Australian cricket more satisfaction.

Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew...

More acerbic stuff from Michael Henderson at the Daily Telegraph.

"Bopara, Bell and Collingwood at Nos 3, 4 and 5 does not inspire the same confidence as, say, Cowdrey, Dexter, and Barrington. Or Vaughan, Hussain and Thorpe. Or Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb"

See this and more over at The Guardian's weekly cricket blog run by Lawrence Booth - The Spin

England Team Ratings

X- Rated stuff from the majority of the team in this Test Match. Apart from the morning session of day 3 England were totally, utterly, comprehensively outgunned and humiliated by a rampant Australian side.

Andrew Strauss - had a terrible start to the match through no fault of his own and all the pre match goings on must have been playing on his mind when he went out to bat. You'd expect them to. Should have been out first ball and didn't last much longer. 32 in the second innings saved face for him personally but needed and would have wanted a big score to settle his side. He was the one man you felt could do it but he didn't deliver. Did he call right after winning the toss? 102 all out having chosen to bat would suggest not but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
5 out of 10.

Alastair Cook - Scored 30 in both innings and was solid if not spectacular. You never felt like he would score a hundred second time around, 30 in each innings is okay but you want more from your opener really. Hard to criticise too much though given the state of the rest of the scorecard. 7 out of 10

Ravi Bopara - Hard to think of anything positive to say about a man who faced a total of seven deliveries in the match and contributed just one run. He held onto two catches, neither particularly difficult, and looked lost and distant in the field. Back you go to Essex Ravi.
2 out of 10

Ian Bell - As usual, looked very nice at the crease and played some lovely textbook shots for the photographers, but hasn't got the fight for the situation England found themselves in. 11 runs in the match, one catch.
3 out of 10.

Paul Collingwood - Didn't turn up. Plain and simple. Zero and four.
2 out of 10.

Matt Prior - Almost didn't make it but put his early injury to one side and had a decent display behind the stumps although there was still the usual untidiness. With 37 not out and 22 he looked the only batsman truly in form.
7 out of 10.

Stuart Broad - England's man of the match. Six wickets including those of Ponting and Hussey. His next four came when Australia were clear ahead and could have declared so were swinging from the hip and are thus cheapened slightly, but six wickets is six wickets and a wonderful counter attacking 61 from 48 balls on the last morning gave the fans plenty of cheer for an hour and a half.
9 out of 10.

Graeme Swann - Bowled 16 overs of nonthreatening off spin. Never really looked like getting a wicket but didn't bowl badly. 62 entertaining runs and a hundred plus partnership with Broad on the final morning.
7 out of 10.

James Anderson - Didn't happen for him with the ball this time around. Was dismissed to the point boundary by the hulk like Shane Watson from the first two balls of the Australian innings and that set the tone for the rest. Too much short stuff not allowing the ball the chance to swing. Still my man of the series though and one poor showing can be forgiven. Fielded well as always.
5 out of 10

Steve Harmison - Bowled 2 wicket taking balls in 23 overs, the rest was average stuff as we have come to expect.
4 out of 10.

Graeme Onions - Hard to say anything bad, although bowling short to the best puller of a cricket ball in the World was a tad foolish. Wasn't bad, wasn't great, got a pair with the bat.
5 out of 10.

Daily Telegraph attacking the short ball

Thanks to Mr. Eugenides for bringing this to my attention. Harsh words indeed from Michael Henderson at the Daily Telegraph.

"Their bowling, until Graham Onions and Stuart Broad clawed back a bit of ground after tea, was abysmal. It should surprise nobody that the worst offender was Steve Harmison, who Ponting dismissed as a duke might dismiss a guttersnipe. Even Harmison must know by now that the Australia captain is one of the finest pullers the game has known. Surely he was watching in the morning when Stuart Clark, running in from the Kirkstall Lane End that he favoured later, reaped a significant reward by pitching the ball up. Yet here he was – again – serving up unspeakable filth. Tripe and Onions, you might say: a most unappetising dish from the land of the Prince-Bishops. Here he was – again – standing in the middle of the pitch, looking aggrieved, as he found out – again – that good batsmen tend to cart short-pitched balls to the pickets. He was not alone. James Anderson had a poor day, and it took Onions some time to thicken the sauce, but Harmison's indulgence beggared belief – again. Matt Prior wasn't the only man to suffer a bad back on Friday. Many an England captain has done himself an injury, bending over backwards to accommodate Harmison, and as of today Andrew Strauss can wear the club tie with pride. But what did people expect of this wastrel? His record as a fast bowler who is reluctant to exploit his talents is not exactly a mystery."

Say what you think why don't you? Can't deny though, the man has a point.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/international/theashes/5991501/The-Ashes-Steve-Harmison-comes-up-short-as-Australia-punish-England.html

4th Test Day One

Hmm, England 102 all out at 2.30pm on day one. Perhaps Sesame Street was the wrong choice.

Phew, here we go again it feels like there’s been no respite this summer. No wonder Freddie is knackered and the early breaking news today was that he would be ruled out and indeed that was confirmed at around 9.30am. There was another injury scare during the warm up when Matt Prior was thought to have done himself a mischief playing football, but after panic and chaos and requests to delay the toss and wicketkeepers up and down the country frantically checking their phones, Prior was passed fit to play. It was some morning for England which had been going on for sme time after being evacuated from their team hotel due to a fire alarm at 5am. News at the toss was that Harmison was in for Flintoff, for Australia Stuart Clark replaced Nathan Hauritz, Strauss won and chose to bat.

And what a mistake that was! Were it not for Billy Bowden, Strauss would have been out first ball to an inswinger which was cleaning out middle stump but not out was the reply. The Australians weren’t made to pay for the let off though as Strauss walking back to changing room in the 4th over, Marcus North holding onto a screamer in the slips one handed high above his head. England 11-1 and the skipper gone for 3 with Bopara in next and in desperate need of a score. He lasted all of 6 balls before trying to drive a lifting ball and putting it straight into the hands of gully. Shocking shot and if he is still in the team come the Oval it will be a minor miracle. Shane Warne said before the series started that he wasn’t up to it and yet again the master was right. 16-2 and Bopara out for 1. Ian Bell next.

He made all of 8 before Johnson bounced him out and England were 39-3. His replacement at the crease Paul Collingwood didn’t manage to trouble the scorers lasting 5 balls for nought, edging to Ponting at 2nd slip off the bowling of Clark meaning each of Australia’s seamers now had one wicket and England were reeling at 42-4.

42-4 became 63-5 when Cook, having watched the carnage unfold whilst compiling 30 became Stuart Clark’s second wicket edging to Clarke at 1st slip. All sorts of bother now with the last recognised batsman prior already in meaning Stuart Broad, batting a place higher than normal due to Flintoff’s absence, was on his way to the middle in the 23rd over of the day. Jesus wept, 67-5 and 8 minutes to lunch. But that was at least one minute too many as in th e25th over with 2 balls to the break Broad clipped Clark to Katich at short square leg for 3, England 72-6 at the break.

And Swann made only a flying visit to the crease lasting 15 balls for the second duck of the innings. 92-7 Harmison came to bat next, at least a day and half earlier than he or anyone connected with England would have liked but he didn’t hang around either going for duck number 3 of the innings tickling a Siddle delivery down the leg side to Haddin. Blimey. James Anderson was in next having not had a duck in 52 Test innings and that became 53 but he was out for 1 fending a Siddle delivery off his face which left Onions as the last man and he was out first ball gloving, or forearming anyway, another brute of a bouncer from Siddle. 5 wickets for Siddle and England all out by half past 2 in the afternoon for 102. That they got more than 100 was down to Cook and Prior who both had 30s and extras contributed 17. Nobody else got into double figures and in fact only one other batsman scored more than 3. A truly marvellous effort!

Sesame Street

Alastair Cook's increasingly ridiculous hair has left me pondering of late who he reminds me of. It had been bugging me for ages, but watching yet another repeat of Friends this evening Phoebe mentioned Sesame Street and the light went on. Once I'd satisfied myself that Bert was indeed Cookie's puppet double, it occurred to me that there were few more of England's current side who resemble a TV puppet. So, borrowing the theme from Beer and Sport's crap lookalikes postings and leaving some considerable room for artistic licence, we also have...

Strauss and Ernie...

Ian Bell and Elmo...

Paul Collingwood and Oscar the Grouch...

Matt Prior and Barkley the Dog...

Freddie Flintoff and Big Bird...

Stuart Broad and Prairie Dawn...

Graeme Swann and The Cookie Monster...

Onions and Grover...